http://www.northpoint.org/messages/the-new-rules-for-love-sex-and-dating
He addresses single people directly. Primarily because he wants to reach people before they royally screw up their lives through unhealthy relationships. Having been single for the vast, vast majority of my life I am so thankful for a pastor who boldly confronts these hard issues and decides not to tip-toe around them.
The main premise is to not look to relationships/marriage to FIX you or to fill a VOID in your life. Rather, focus on you, who you are, and the beautiful creation God has made you. Become the person that the person you want to date would date. Maybe its not a revolutionary topic but it is a revolutionary way of thinking. Don't just sit around waiting. BECOME. LIVE. SEEK. THRIVE. GROW. Don't wait for God to bring someone into your life to become the person that he has created you to be. Be that person now and through doing that maybe you will find the person that God is working on for you. But maybe not. Seek God first and the rest will fall into place. God has created marriage as the closest, most intimate form of relationship that humans can experience. Marriage is a reflection of the relationship that God strives to have with us, if only we will let him. Relationships can ruin people and the effects of a bad one can send ripples into our future far beyond our comprehension. This is the weight and the seriousness that we need to be aware of. Pastor Andy talks about the preparedness that should come before choosing to enter into a relationship with someone. Its not all rainbows and butterflies, it is hard-work. Work that will only be perfected through practice. Practice being the person you want to be today. Because your present will one day be your past which will show up in your future. The decisions you make today affect the person you are and thus affect the person you will become. Don't wait to become the person you want to be. Practice loving in the friendships/relationships that you have currently... after all you know what they say... "Practice makes perfect!"
"“The reason married people get into so much trouble when they’re married is because they believe in a myth. And the myth that they buy into is called the right person myth – if I marry the right person, everything will be all right. When I meet the right person, everything will be all right.”
“The correct approach,” he emphasized, “the approach that will serve you so well, is to decide, I’m not just hunting, I’m not just seeking. I am intentionally becoming the person who the person I’m looking for is ultimately looking for.”
Relaying a personal story told to him while preparing for the series, Stanley spoke of a young woman who grew up in a religious home, had a Sunday school background, went to college, graduated and came to Atlanta.
Putting on the “back burner” her beliefs, she immersed herself in the singles dating culture and was “living the life, having fun.”
One day at a social gathering, she met who she thought to be “Mr. Right.” After spending a few minutes getting to know him, she saw he was the total package – the looks, the job, and the personality. On talking with him further, it became very apparent that he was a Christian, who was committed to living out his faith in every aspect of his life.
Going home that night, she told her mother all about “Mr. Right,” gushing over all his qualities. But her mother turned to her after and said, “Sweetheart, the problem is a guy like that is not looking for a girl like you,” to which she literally fell to the floor in a puddle of tears.
“It was a defining moment for her as a single person. ‘That guy I’m looking for, he’s not looking for someone like me.’ Her priorities changed, her life changed, and she is going in a different direction now.”
Asking the congregation once again, “Are you who the person you are looking for is looking for,” the megachurch pastor urged singles to stop believing in the fairy tale that somehow when meeting the right person all the other things would fall magically into place.
He encouraged singles to put effort into their relationships, and not just base their relationships on chemistry and passion alone, which took no work and could be felt with thousands of other people at any given time."
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